The Importance of Having Fun and Being Carefree: A Reader Comments

Fun comes in many flavors. Regardless which one you like, it is important to include fun in your daily life.

However, I didn’t always appreciate that which I just wrote.

While in graduate school, I once spoke to a mentor of mine who asked me, “What do you do for fun?”

I looked at him wide eyed, and I detailed my grueling schedule to him. He was unimpressed with my case that I was overworked to the point of not even being able to think of fun. He made it clear to me: “Everyone must have fun in their lives in order to be happy.”

At the time, I didn’t heed his advice. I believed, mistakenly, I couldn’t.

Once I started working with children, the important role fun plays in our lives began to become clear to me. There is something very special about observing children getting lost in the moment with what they are engaged. Being carefree is at times a blessing. It allows you to be present instead of distracted.

Ever wondered why time flies when you’re having fun? It’s because you become so absorbed and immersed in what you’re doing that you forget to look at your watch. You think only of the present without comparing it to the future or the past.

Children are great at having fun and being present while at it. Adults, not so much. We are rather concerned with many other things while playing. We have adult stuff on our minds. This difference between adults and children may create a barrier which impedes a healthy relationship between us and children. It also gets in the way of the magic that happens when children have fun.

Reader Maggie Macaulay from Whole Hearted Parenting eloquently summed it up in a comment on a recent post:

As parents, our first and primary job is to keep our children safe.  When our own fears spill into the mix, we may limit our children from experiences that may teach important lessons and from which they may grow.  Parents can ask themselves, “What is my motivation to say ‘no’?’  If it has more to do with a limiting belief that you have then with your child’s safety, consider the positive things that could come about if you say, “yes”.

I recently discovered a limiting belief that I have — “When having fun, I have to be careful or someone will get hurt.”

I can see where that limiting belief had not only influenced my involvement in activities and my full enjoyment of activities but also some decisions I made around my daughter’s activities.   I shifted that belief to “having fun is carefree.”  I certainly will not put my daughter in an unsafe situation, AND I am more open to her participating in fun, carefree activities (and me, too!).

For adults, being carefree and having fun doesn’t come as easily as it does for children. We are conditioned to be responsible and all grown up. Children play. Big people work. Or so we believe. Yet, my mentor was right: We do need fun in our lives to be happy. Fun allows us to be present. It makes us temporarily forget about the past and the future.

Most importantly, it lets us connect to our children in a way otherwise not possible.

Related posts:

1. The Importance of Using Love to Discipline Children
2. Reader Asks and We Respond
3. Are You Teaching Your Child to be Helpless?

Tagged as: Activities for Children, Childhood Mental Health, Communication, Having Fun, Parent-Child Relationships, Parenting, Pretend Play