We all want our children to be good. No one wants to be called by a teacher or principal with a complaint about a misbehaving child. Yet, obedience comes at a steep price.
The price is creativity and healthy independence.
Every creative endeavor pushes the boundary of what others considered normal. By definition, every creative individual is disobedient and noncompliant. Otherwise, we would never say, “Wow!” We would never be surprised.
Independent and creative people always test limits, break rules, and take risks. It’s what makes them great.
Thomas Edison was ferociously curious and at the age of six, experimenting with fire, he burnt his family’s barn to the ground. His parents were not happy with what he did, but they did not stifle his creativity and independence. Now imagine for a moment his parents hanging a smiley sticker chart above his bed and giving him a sticker for every time he was obedient. Imagine them rewarding him for every time he did not tinker and experiment with “dangerous stuff.” We would probably still be reading to the light of a candle.
I’m not advocating wild disobedience and lawless childhood. What I am suggesting is that we start allowing our children to take more risks, be a bit more independent, and experiment creatively. We should maintain healthy boundaries to their behavior, but we shouldn’t be chokeholding their every move.
We should allow for mistakes and failures, because these are the most important ingredients of success. We should worry less or at least keep our worry to ourselves instead of instilling it into our kids.
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